Goodbye old self.

HERE’S THE DEAL

The hardest part about change is the fact that you have to become somebody entirely brand new. All your habits have to change, the way you think has to change, the people you spend your time with likely has to change, the places you spend your time has to change, and the way you spend your time in these new places has to change as well.

Change is not an easy journey, but it’s mandatory if you want to have a ell rounded and meaningful existence from here on out.

You don’t have to look farther than Mother Nature and the cyclical change of the seasons to see how things live and die. Spring brings new leaves to the trees and petals to the flowers, fall brings the beginning of the cycle of decay, and by winter everything is bare. As spring comes around again the trees spout new leaves and new flowers bloom. But with each change of the season every leaf, flower petal and blade of grass appears similar but is nothing like the ones previous.

This is the same for you and I. We remain in the same body but with time and effort we are different with each season that passes. The difference for humans is we have the ability to decide how long each season lasts. You can change by day, week, month or year. For some they change by the decade, and for others they don’t change at all.

PEOPLE AND CHANGE

When we make the commitment to change some major aspect of ourselves we sometimes forget the impact it has on the people who are attached to the current version of us.

I used to spend a lot of time drinking and smoking with my friends. It was fun. It’s what we did. We didn't have much but we had each other and we had fun. When I changed my lifestyle it was difficult for some people to accept my new behaviors. They mocked it. They offered me things I swore against. Sometimes I gave in and fell back into old habits…until I didn’t anymore.

The reason why the people closest to you behave this way and try to keep you as you were is because when you change, it automatically means that they have to change the way they interact with you.

The problem lies in the fact that they haven’t made the conscious decision to be different. Your commitment has forced a new way of behaving with you that is uncomfortable for them. It’s not natural for them. It requires learning new ways of interacting with this new version of you. To them it feels easier to subconsciously fight the change and try and keep you where you were. This is why a lot of advice around levelling up says to leave your old friends behind and other things like that.

Not always but often, the easiest way to combat the pressure from your friends and family is to spend less time with them. You socialize less not because you don’t like or love them, but because you may not like or love who you are becoming by staying who you are, and I can respect that.

The hardest but most honest advice I can give is this:

• share with the people closest to you that you have some plans to do some new things and that you would appreciate their support. Let them know that if they are unable to support you that’s fine, but that you will likely be around less as a result.

• some people will get upset, be prepared for that.

• Some people will be proud and supportive at first, but later change their tone as they experience the new you. Prepare yourself for this as well.

• If you believe some people will be really unsupportive then just change and say nothing. Stick to your guns. It can hurt. Sometimes change hurts.

• most important of all, don’t fold on yourself because other people are uncomfortable.

CHANGE AND ENVIRONMENT 

Now this one can be tricky. There are a few ways to change your environment I’ll list them from easy to hard.

1. remake one room in your house even if it’s just your bedroom to be an entirely new space - here’s some ideas on what to change:

   • new bedsheets

   • new pillowcases

   • rearrange the entire room

   • add candles

   • add plants

   • add visual cues like a vision board

   • add different lighting

   • add plants

   • add air fresheners

   • add a water dispenser by the bed

   • add a meditation corner

   • add a reading chair

   • add anything that is in alignment with the new version of you.

2. Socialize in new places with new people - this one can be tricky in the beginning because you are likely going alone. Here are some ideas:

• join a sport league

• a chess club

• a reading club

• a self development group

• a toastmasters club

• a Tough Mudder

• a marathon

• a gym

• a hot yoga spot

• a Muai Thai club

   

All of these groups will likely have free trials. Try them all. Do shit you would usually say “absolutely not” to. You are becoming new. You need new stimuli. If it totally sucks, don’t worry you won’t die. What you will do is meet new people, share your story, and ask about theirs. New people and new places is uncomfortable, but it’s healthy.

3. If your job sucks start looking for a new one. OR if that’s just too crazy right now get yourself a part-time thing either for free (volunteer work in the community), or paid so you can learn something new and get a nag in the process.

4. Change where you live. If finances allow and you can muster up the courage, MOVE. Move far. How far? I once moved to the Caribbean, and then to California. What an adventure. A story for another time maybe.

CHANGE AND HABITS

This is the real magic of it all. Changing you. You have a few areas you can change under habits here’s the list:

1. HEALTH HABITS - having a healthy routine is super beneficial for your mental wellbeing and overall health. It also uses up time that you would have used doing unhealthy stuff as your past self. Here’s a list of possible changes:

   • start yoga

   • weight lifting

   • running

   • hiking

   • marital arts

   • eat healthy foods

   • hydrating with electrolytes

   • replace unhealthy snacks with healthy ones

   • start to sleep and wake up at the same times each day. its really healthy for your body and mind especially during change.

If you want a simple and actionable plan to change read by previous post ‘Raising Your Vibrations for Success.’

1. MINDSET HABITS - look into new mindsets that are more empowering. Here’s a list of great books and ideas:

   • Mindset - Carol Dweck

   • Breaking the Habit of being You - Joe Dispenza

   • Atomic Habits -

   • UnFuck Yourself -

   • Start with Why - Simon Sinek

   • The Power of Habit - Charles Duhigg

   • Psycho Cybernetics - MAxwell Maltz

   • Eat that Frog - Brian Tracy

   • Deep Work - Cal Newport

I mean the list is endless but these are some of my favourites. I love to read. New ideas in means new ideas out. Nothing better than new thoughts that create new behaviors.

FINANCIAL HABITS

They say money can’t buy happiness. I say poverty can’t buy anything. So if you don’t want to be ultra rich and you don’t want to be poor, then I suggest you define your mark somewhere in the middle.

Here are some simple money moves that will help you in the beginning:

• stop spending your money on meaningless shit to fill the void you’ve created by acting out of alignment with your truest self.

• of every dollar you earn save at least 10%. That’s ten dollars from every one hundred. No it’s not a life changing amount. What will happen though is it will start to add up. Then it will start to get fun so you will try and save more.

• Spend on skills that will increase your ability to earn money. You get paid based on the amount of value you can create for other people. You get rich because people pay you for something you have the solution to. People do not pay you because you want to be rich. Remember that. Seems obvious but if you're broke then you don’t actually understand yet.

• if you’re broke you should be making bets on yourself and taking risks. You have nothing to lose but your poverty status. Lose it already.

FINAL THOUGHTS

One more thing that I’d like to mention is something that has been a key to my success, do what you want with this information. I do not start things that I don’t intend to see all the way through. It has delayed my success in certain ways, but it has advanced it in others. Here’s what I mean.

When I started my journey into self development at 16 I committed to it for life. Since then I’ve never stopped. I started my life very poor. Poor to the point I lived outside. I’m not poor anymore. I’m also advancing faster than ever. What I gave up in the short-term were a number of nights out, mental stress trying to figure things out, and short-term money opportunities for long-term gain. The gain in the long-term was strong character and moral fortitude. I’m not suggesting you follow my path, but what I am suggesting is listen to the voice inside you that guides you.

Remind yourself of these things as often as you need to:

1. You’re not late to life you’re right on time.

2. The best things come over time, not overnight.

3. You only need to be right once.

4. Think and behave as your future successful self not from your current circumstance.

5. the universe loves you. That is its only job.

6. You’ll believe #5 the more you increase yourself love.

7. You increase your self love by increasing your self worth.

8. You increase your self worth by doing the things you know you should do as many times in a row as you possibly can.

9. Tackle one day at a time, the present moment is the only one you’ll ever have.

Bonne journée (have a good day).

-James

P.S. The best way to help yourself is to help someone else. If you found value in this letter please share it with someone else.